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Elisabeth Mossloves to cry.Im never happier than when Im crying onstage, the actress once told theNew YorkTimes.
Its super weird, and its what I love to do.
If youve been paying attentionto her career,this wont strike you as strange.
Nobody on earth does a better fake cry than Elisabeth Moss.
Elisabeth Moss has been in 84 onscreen projects over the past 29 years.
I can conservatively estimate that she has wept, hard, in at least 60 percent of them.
But heres whats incredible: every unhappy Elisabeth Moss scene is unhappy in its own way.
Sometimes shesstone-faced,a single tear dripping down her cheek.
Sometimes shes visiblyfighting back tears,only to lose the uphill battle, her face breaking like a wave.
Elisabeth Moss does her best work when she is destroying what is certainly a very expensive professional shellacking.
I need my Elisabeth Moss sob with a side of totally fucked-up mascara.
I cannot feel anything unless Elisabeth Mosss face is covered in LOreal Voluminous Carbon Black.
Give me Elisabeth Mosss eyeliner skyrocketing across her cheeks or give me death.
Sheisborn with it,andit is Maybelline!!
The SeagullVultures review ofThe Seagulldescribed Mosss performance as Masha as tragic, with a hint of the demonic.
There is no better reason to lay waste to a good daytime eye.
Her bottom lip quivers.
She chugs her tea, then fills her cup with vodka.
Dont look at me like that!
she admonishes Corey Stoll, whoislooking at her like that.
Is he wondering why her under-eyes are suddenly looking as brownish as the tops of her eyes?
Dont worry, Corey, were getting there.
Like Mosss performance, the smudge is low-key and understated.
This is a fuck it smudge.
This smudge says, What was I thinking, trusting a man in the early aughts?
Who am I putting this eye makeup on for anyway?
I am in the literal middle of nowhere.
I will not continue to perform traditional femininity for a bunch of pedophiles in the bush.
From now on, I will wear power suits exclusively.
Mad MenIts Peggys birthday, and Don isforcing her to stay at the office and work.
What better time to begin crying so hard she ruins her cute 1960s beat?
In this scene, the sight of her own face makes Moss cry even harder.
Weve all been there.
Theres nothing more satisfying than crying so hard you make yourself cry even harder.
Except, perhaps, watching Elisabeth Moss effortlessly torpedo a nice smoky eye.
Elisabeth Moss looking at herself in a mirror with smeared makeup will shortly become a theme like pay attention.
She gets it when she is brutally murdered by her tethered clone, Dahlia.
Fortunately for the audience, Dahlia is far more interesting.
Her SmellElisabeth Moss spends 90 percent ofHer Smellwith her eye makeup melting over her entire face.
Becky attempts to exorcise the devil from her own baby with two dank under-eye smudges.
Glitter litters her cheeks as she tells her lifelong friends and bandmates to fuck off.
The bottom of her face wears eyeliner better than the top of my face does.
She confronts herself; she scares herself; or maybe she turns herself on?
Its hard to say.
Later, she looks at herself again with normal eye makeup, and the effect is considerably dulled.
Elisabeth Moss with good eye makeup feels wrong perverse, even.
When youre that good at razing a building, why put it back up?
Queen of EarthQueen of Earthkicks off with the best Elisabeth Moss Runny Mascara Cry-Face of her well-saturated career.
Why are you doing this to me?
she screams at her offscreen boyfriend, whos just dumped her for another woman.
You cant explain it?
Can we hey just relax?
No, we cant like just, shrieks Catherine.
Just go, I dont want you to see me like this.
Her eye makeup looks, unfortunately, great.
In conclusion, here is an example of the actual Elisabeth Moss with a nice, clean eye.
But just imagine how good that blue eyeliner would look running down her face.
