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Hello again, recap readers!
Anew episode ofGame of Throneswas on last night.
They seem to be dropping them almost one a week at this point.
You know what I mean?
I was mostly concerned with the ice dragon.
I mean, whats so great about ruling the Seven Kingdoms?
Seems like a pain in the ass to me.
Maybe its too many kingdoms, ever think of that?
If Cersei wants to rule that whole mess, let the baby have her bottle, say I!
So that, plus a little more Sudafed than the box recommends (oops!
), made it a challenge to sit down and watch this one.
But oh brother, they roped me in again!!
This was a good one!!
First of all, this was my favorite Previously On of the whole series.
After that, the episode opens with some surprisingly good news.
It seems like thathorrific, endless battlewe were treated to last week wasnt nearly as bad as it looked.
My dog didnt look much better than that after his backyard tangle with a skunk.
There was also surprisingly good news for the actor who plays Jorah.
That crafty old fox managed to get himself paid for another episode!
The whole thing starts with him lying there dead and Daenerys is crying and whispers something in his ear.
Be sure to stay for lunch too.
Catering is making ribs!
Bran would know all about it but dont expect him to tell anyone.
it’s possible for you to see it in her eyes.
Very focused on the food.
There are lots of delightful little conversations all around the room.
No wonder the Night King wanted this guy dead!
He knows too much!
Ive definitely partied with dudes like this before.
At some point, it goes from This guys great!
to Am I about to get shoved in front of the subway as a joke?
Funny enough, Drunkgiantsbane is super impressed with Jon Snow for riding a dragon during the battle.
But then Giantsbane busts out the line of night: Which one of you cowards shit in my pants?
I mean, cmon.
Thats probably a street joke.
I dont think he made it up.
But funny is funny and Giantsbane brings it.
And because Giantsbane is funny, that means he definitely gets the girl, right?
It seems theres a classicPretty in Pinkscenario shaping up and Giantsbane is Duckie.
Some stories are truly eternal.
Without that, you would have stayed a little bird all your life.
Well, Im going to have to think on that one a little while,Game of Thrones.
Then Gendry proposes to Arya and finds out pretty quick how much it sucks to be a lord.
But Lady of Storms End?
Then Andie loses her virginity to Blane.
Yep, all of that is awkward and a definite boner-killer.
She seems pretty power hungry and not in a good way anymore.
For me, its kind of like the Democratic primary at this point.
Ill take any of these characters over the creep whos in the big chair now.
Just settle it before the California primary so I dont have to make any decisions, okay?
Or I think thats what they decided.
Too much of it.
Next up, its a Stark family meeting under the dead tree.
For reasons that arent explained, Jaime gets spared in this arrangement too.
Sorry, but Bronn is no replacement for the old lady who used to run Highgarden.
He isnt fit to polish her weird veiled pillbox hats.
I miss funny grandma!
Seeing her get poisoned didnt make me stronger,Game of Thrones!
Then we have a rather large development.
Just two supernaturally skilled ass-kickers headed down to Kings Landing to kick some asses.
Open some more wine!
But no, she kept it to herself for God knows what reason.
Then Sansa spills the big beans to Tyrion.
Whatd I tell you?
you could change your mind after you hear the secret.
Then we have some heartfelt good-byes.
Giantsbane is going back up north where there are, I guess, some people left somehow?
Well, if not, hell have a scratched wolf to keep him company.
And now were at sea.
The good-guy navy is pulling up to some castle.
Is this Daeneryss home castle or something?
I should know that, huh?
Theres a weird scene where Tyrion and Varys discuss the big secret that Sansa told Tyrion.
Excuse me, what?!
Daenerys is Jons aunt in addition to being his sister?Andhis girlfriend?
This show is nuts.
Oh but thats what I got next!
Okay, Im gonna pick up the pace.
Here we go …
Cersei has captured Missandei and duped Euron into thinking Jaimes baby is his.
Tyrion hatches a plan to offer Cersei her life in exchange for the throne sure, thatll work.
Back at Winterfell, Sansa has heard about the naval debacle and now predicts massive bloodshed in Kings Landing.
We can no longer rule it out!
He doesnt like the idea of Cersei being slaughtered at the end of a big ugly battle.
What did he think was going to happen?
Who cares, because really, this is a great scene.
I was never exactly comfortable with the big redemption of Jaime Lannister.
Hes proven himself to be too much of an asshole in too many episodes of this show.
So I enjoyed hearing him lay it all out here and admit to being awful.
You know it to be true.
But we can forgive Missandei for not thinking clearly in this moment.
Luckily the dragon ignored her.
Maybe a dead body on the funeral pyre?
I dont think I could have held my breath for Jons whole speech though.
Hopefully better pickins next week!
