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Hello again, reader.
Today brings the upsetting news thatGame of Throneshas been abruptly canceled only six episodes into its latest season.
So ends HBOs lavishly expensive tribute to the inherent superiority of people from well-established, land-owning families.
It will be missed!
These are 1 million people who literally have no idea how anything in the whole wide world works.
What an idiotic idea!
Fans saw that coffee cup removed and said, Well, as long as youre willing to change things … Thats weird, right?
There are a bunch of made-up languages that dont exist on Earth, but then most people speak English?
Hard to imagine how that would come about.
Unless theres a portal.
Just a few things like that.
Itd be a hell of a lot easier than rewriting and reshooting the whole season, thats for sure.
Ive been sorry to see that so many people are disappointed with this season ofGame of Thrones.
And if the rat-bucket thing hadnt done it, the end of The Mountain and the Viper would have.
But I kept watching the show.
Well, a lot of it anyway.
Thats a fair question.
Maybe its because the performances were always perfect.
Like, really, I didnt have a choice.
Im sure that complicates things further.
But look, this final episode was just fine with me.
And Im not just saying that because Im so glad to be kicking an addiction.
It was perfectly fine.
Of course, Ive always been satisfied with the wayDeadwoodended, so what do I know?
Hearst up, Swearengen down, onward into a grim and profane future.
I guess Im easy.
Well, with that, lets get this motherfucker recapped!
This is an unpleasant stroll.
Arya appears to have then covered her victims in bricks to prevent anyone suspecting her.
Tyrion doesnt seem as happy about it as I am, which I get.
Yesterday was a perfect summer day, and now its snowing and gray and somber.
I guess this is that winter I kept hearing was coming?
The dragon swoops down with Daenerys on his back.
She gets off and looks for a moment like she has dragon wings, which would have been interesting!
Troublingly, she claims to have freed the people of Kings Landing.
Yeah, freed them from theirskin.
I can only take that to mean that every single person is going to die.
Were right back where we started at the beginning of this season.
Tyrion stands by her side, expresses displeasure with her for slaughtering an entire city, and then resigns.
Jon then visits Tyrion in prison, which Daeneryss guards probably should not have allowed.
Clearly nothing good was going to come of this visit for the queen.
Tyrion reminds us that she murdered slavers, crucified nobles, and burned khals alive.
Is that what her character has been about all this time?
Are you sure she didnt just suddenly go bananas at the worst possible moment?
He throws the kitchen sink.
But Jon seems content to die if his queen wishes him to.
What a weird dude he turned out to be, huh?
I guess this throne is pretty tough and will be around forever, huh?
Whatever it is, triple it!
Thats how long were holding this shot.
Whose season is rushed now, asshole?!
Hes pretty disappointed about all those scorched children.
But then she gets in close and sexily asks Jon to rule by her side.
Sex and death finally put their differences aside to work together in perfect harmony here.
For poor, unloved Daenerys this was a pretty good way to go out you have to admit.
Jon cries over her corpse, and then the dragon seems to sense that something is not quite right.
He pops in to sniff around and immediately gets whats going on here.
Rather than aim his fire at Jon,he melts the Iron Throne!
Jon Snow will live another day thanks to this giant roaring beasts acute understanding of the power of symbols.
He seems to have a plan.
The episode then went to black for a longish beat in a possible reference to theSopranosfinale.
This is another visual we really got to soak in for aloooongtime.
Would a rushed season make you watch a guy lie down this long?
If the wordbrokendoesnt inspire confidence in a ruler, what will?
But also, Brans story is so great?
What even is Bran?
What does it mean to be the Three-Eyed Raven?
What are the rules of warging?
If Brans story is such a great one, I sure wish someone had told it to me.
I dont get that guy at all.
What do you mean by that?
You knew this was going to happen?
Everything this guy says is annoying.
I dont think its going to go so well.
Was that one of the kingdoms?
Is he now King of the Six Kingdoms?
Hang onto that head, Jon!
On his way to the ship that will take him north, Jon runs into his siblings.
Thats an odd choice but okay.
Then Bran says one last weird Branny thing to Jon and off he goes.
Her handwriting is almost Varys-level, by the way.
The Westeros public-school system had an excellent penmanship curriculum, I have to say.
Sam presents Tyrion with a giant book called oh brother A Song of Ice and Fire.
I guess this is a variation on the old the whole show has been someones dream ending.
but Bran wheeled in before he could.
Hes back with his wolf.
Can we call off the petition now, you bunch of big babies?
People were mad about that.
I dont know what thats supposed to mean.
Hes also going off the map into uncharted territory?
Well, folks, thats it for Throning It in With Andy Daly.
RecappingGame of Throneswas a weird itch and I am very thankful to Vulture for letting me scratch it.
No, not there.
That show, by the way, endedperfectly.
They seem so happy all the time.
Just riding around swinging their swords and hollering.
Thats all those guys want.
Okay thats all thanks and bye!
