Bachelor in Paradise
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Could you picture the editors hastily dragging and dropping romantic footage of each couple?
So what we do have left as we climb out of the ashes of Blakes sexual tsunami?
What we have is a fist fight between two male models.
We gotta talk about this fight.
We gotta talk about what it looks like when keeping it real goes wrong.
Lets get to it.
The most baffling part is when Jordan starts walking around, very calmly.
Does … does he think he won?
Does Jordan think this makes him look cool or fun or that anyone asked for this?
It takes about 15 producers and security guards to swarm Christian and get him on the ground.
SO MANY PEOPLE HAVE TO STOP HIM.
A producer speaking Spanish manages to calm Christian down as they get Jordan off the beach.
Nicole learned the lesson that when you ask a potential boyfriend, Have you ever been in a fight?
Chris Harrison shows up, along with a whole gaggle of producers, to dismiss Jordan and Christian.
Nothing wrong with reminding the crew that you know who their favorites are.
This time with MARIACHI MUSIC!
They make out in front of everyone and Dylan has a full-on meltdown.
Hannah isnot worth it.
Hannahs awareness of her indecisiveness is not a substitute for actual maturity or growth.
Then its time for the actual Rose Ceremony.
Thats what were here for.
But before the rose ceremony can begin, theres one more surprise!
Onyeka has decided that shes going home.
She says her goodbyes and cries that shes looking for her person.
Why cant she find him!
If only there were any other context besides a competitive reality show to find love!
Most of the roses shake out the way youd expect.
Caelynn gives her rose to Dean because shes a glutton for punishment.
Tayshia gives her rose to John Paul Jones and calls him her Romeo.
Sydney gives her rose to Mike and I accept this reality.
Abandon all hope, influencers who enter here!
The next morning, everyone is lying around.
The first woman to show up this week to shake things up is Caitlyn.
They make out in a pool.
Dylan says that the last two weeks with Hannah have been the hardest thing hes ever gone through.
Immediately after that, he tells her on the date about his fathers battle with cancer.
Slow down, buddy.
The next morning, theres someone coming down the steps!
Shes even more confused about how she feels about Derek.
She cant stop thinking about the relationship she left to come on the show.
The show has done nothing to foster an environment for same-sex couples or queer love.
The issue isBachelor in Paradisehasnt featured very many LGBT folks so far, its just Demi and Jaimi.
Now Demis whole story line for the last ten hours of television has been about her confusion.
And those narratives so far are: Oversexualized Woman Stealer and Confused Queer Woman.
Its the danger of the Single Narrative.
They end up becoming The Queer Story onParadiseinstead of just A Queer Story.
