Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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(Hilda: I can spell it,thank you.)
To this I say: Sure!
Unlike what the false god would have you believe, sex is about pleasure, not shame.
Point: Dark Lord.
Sabrina always envisioned losing her virginity to Harvey.
To this, we all say: time to recalibrate.
Since when are Nick and Sabrina boyfriend and girlfriend?
Seems like the sort of moment the show should make into a really big deal, no?
Guess there is no time to waste as we barrel ahead toward a frenzy of orgiastic carnality!
Sabrina says she wants sex to be something she does one-on-one, with someone special.
Nick asks if he could possibly be that someone special.
YOU WERE A DIFFERENT BLONDE THEN.
Wardwell is rightfully appalled at how tacky and suffocating the Valentines vibes are at BHS.
Roz demotes Harveys proposed date toa group hangso that Theo wont feel left out.
Like, tricking someone into having sex with a guy they really dont want to have sex with …
This is the first episode in which I really felt like Sabrina and Rozs friendship had texture and depth.
Its a very sex-positive pep talk and Im into it.
Theo also has a heart-to-heart (valentine pun!)
with his dad, explaining that he doesnt feel like a girl at all.
Even though youve always thought of me as a girl, Im a boy.
Dad is quiet but supportive and takes young Theo to get a buzz cut.
Ambrose announces to all the witches and warlocks that abstinence is encouraged and everyone goes boo!
and I ask, again: How old is everyone here?
Like, does the Academystartin high school?
Are a lot of these students as old as Ambrose is supposed to be?
(If so, why are they still in school?)
Yeah right, Sabrina says.
I caught you in the attic with my cousin having an orgy (#neverforget).
Nicks never had sex with a mortal, so he has his own first-time jitters to deal with.
A critical style note here.
Or, as Nick says, Lets get the heaven out of here.
(Sidebar: I fully support casting Wesley in a show that keeps winking atBuffy.)
(Who knew Doctors Without Borders was so edgy about their trademark?)
Wardwell isthisclose to doing a murder, but then Adam surprises her with a creepy-looking fetish doll.
By the episodes end, Wardwell realizes that this dopey mortal could be of use to her.
He cant be near Hilda because it gets him too excited, thus releasing the inner demon.
(Are they paying Joss Whedon royalties for this Angels-soul redux?)
Zelda is here to assist: As if I havent tangled with my fair share of sex demons.
She also has some news of her own: Blackwood proposed to her.
Ever the pragmatist, Zelda sees this strategic alliance as a path toward restoring the family name.
Plus, she wants to seek my own glory.
Unlike me, Nick is delighted to be at Baxter High.
Everything is going just swell until that pesky wolf shows up again.
So Nick has to go into the woods and kill his familiar.
Here, alas, things take a real turn: Nick was lying about having killed his familiar.
(He murdered some random wolf instead rude.)
Nick sobs, Sabrina kisses his forehead, no one has sex.
What do you think a witch wedding is like?
Is Rozs blindness permanent or can it be cured with magic?
