Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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It is ALL HAPPENING in this finale.
Characters reveal their true selves.
Mortals and witches unite in the fight against the apocalypse.
Both of them are so specifically CW-hot that I honestly had to pause the episode to laugh.
I feel like the devil would be scruffier?
Like maybe he would have chest hair?
Lilith explains that she was Lucifers handmaiden.
Sabrina tells her aunts all about the prophecy.
Zeldas maternal instincts are magnificent.
She will NOT allow the Dark Lord to take Sabrina as his child bride.
Harvey wants to help because of course he does.
(A+ to Kiernan for the way Sabrina says the gates of hell arealsoin Greendale.)
Harvey brings his sketchbook.
No one brings a cell phone.
JUST ADMIT THIS SHOW IS SET IN 1965, FOR LUCIFERS SAKE.
Satan swings by Dorian Grays.
(In his defense … he is literally the devil.)
While Lucifer tends to wayward members of his flock, a.k.a.
Lilith finally reveals to the Spellmans who she really is.
(Sabrina: She was my favorite teacher and you killed her!
Sorry, but lol.)
Sabrinas reply: What a terrible, weak reason.
I love watching Lilith learn from Sabrinas moxie while Sabrina benefits from Liliths experience.
Lilith brings Sabrina to Dorians, where Lucifer awaits her.
Best line of the episode goes to Sabrina for her R.S.V.P.
to the apocalypse: Sorry, but I have school.
Sabrina responds by straight-up spitting in his face.
Now for the money question: Did Sabrinas dad know about all this?
Edward Spellman isnt your father, Lucifer says.
Like whaaaaa, ewwww, why is he calling her his consort?
And also his bride?
If hes the king and shes his daughter, doesnt that make her the princess of hell?
Why does no one address this?!
Well, I say: Not today, Satan.
Sabrina says shell always be a Spellman and Zelda is the proudest.
How can Sabrina defeat the Dark Lord without her magic?
does not go smoothly.
The coronation will continue as planned.
Meanwhile, the teens have found the gates of hell.
Rozs cunning hits her like a seizure.
Theo is there providing moral support?
We are supposed to believe that this half-assed arts-and-crafts project keeps the gates of hell from flinging open.
This whole part of the episode feels extremely janky.
He splits but Prudence stays behind to venture to save her sisters and the rest of her classmates.
Ambrose and Prudence are a couple I believe in, by the way!
He was smitten the first time he heard her sing.
Where has this snappy dialogue been all season?
Lucifer is wearing a metallic jacket from the Hot Topic Bar Mitzvah D.J.
Her crown looks like spray-painted cardboard.
(SORRY, but it is my obligation as a recapper to take these accessories seriously.)
Sabrina performs Masquerade fromPhantom, because why not?
Its all to distract the Dark Lord so they can spring that Battibat prison on him.
It seemed to work but nope, he broke out.Afor effort, everybody.
Theres only one prison stronger than that puzzle box: the human body.
Lilith promises to take very good care of Nick in hell, over which she will rule.
Then she gets all Glinda-the-Good-Witch and gives Sabrina back her powers.
Prudence, who, as usual, is impeccably dressed those GLOVES!
teams up with Ambrose to hunt down Blackwood and rescue her twin siblings.
Harvey is still pretending that he is in love with Roz and has no feelings for Sabrina.
Theo is also still here.
Sabrina wants the gang to work together to fight the forces of darkness.
Ongoing mysteries:How long before Lilith finds her way back to Greendale?
Next season, will we get a more legitimate contender for Sabrinas affections than Mr. Kinkle?
