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Never underestimate Arnold Strong.
None of that discouraged the young man.
[S]tarring as Hercules was way beyond any dream for me, he wrote.
And they paid me $1,000 a week.
Best of all, I got to send photographs home to my parents and write, You see?
I told you the whole thing was going to work.
I came to America, won Mr. Universe, and now Im in the movies.
It turned out Schwarzenegger was Hollywoods biggest dreamer.
Then once he reached the top of the mountain, he kept dreaming.
That was Arnolds time.
So lets rank his best (and worst) performances.
A couple of ground rules first, though.
(Thats also the case for cameos, as when he played himself inDave.
Lots of people want to be movie stars, but he figured out a way to make it happen.
On paper, it was a coup for Warner Bros. to land Arnold for the role of Mr.
Freeze, bringing added commercial muscle to Joel Schumachers follow-up to the megasuccessfulBatman Forever.
Its not justan embarrassment of a Batman film; its a straight-up cinematic travesty.
(That Arnold played a firefighter didnt help.)
This is ArnoldsCobra, but hes not even wearing a ridiculous Stallone beard.
Its typical The Future!
Schwarzenegger plays a U.S. Arnold was trying to regain his Biggest Movie Star in the World standing here.
Arnold is clearly having a fun time playing this guy, but that doesnt mean you will watching him.
These movies have one selling point old guys can kick ass too!
and its hard to resist the thrill of watching weathered movie stars blow bad guys away one more time.
But these flicks tend to inspire Schwarzeneggers laziest, smuggest tendencies.
After being governor, he just hasnt seemed as hungry to reclaim his crown as box-office champ.
He thinks we owe it to him.
20.Junior(1994)
Twinshad a pretty great hook,thisSchwarzenegger-DeVito team-up less so.
He never reaches for an effect.
He never grabs for a joke.
He never wrings an emotion out of reluctant material.
He plays the role absolutely straight, trusting the material to make the points and get the laughs.
But we will never, ever forgive the film for providing us with the nightmare fuel seen above.
Schwarzenegger plays alcoholic ex-NYPD cop Jericho Cane what a name!
Though if youve ever wanted to see Schwarzenegger briefly possessed by the Devil, heres your chance.
If this sounds awfully moody and sad for an Arnold movie, youre right.
You appreciate his giving it a try, but he should just let Eastwood have these roles.
17.EscapePlan(2013)
Wouldnt it be cool if Sly and Arnold made a movie together?
In 1989, totally.
Schwarzenegger plays Emil, an inmate in a high-tech prison that houses the worst of the worst.
Ray goes into Emils jail, only to discover that mysterious individuals want him locked up there permanently.
He doesnt elevate the material; the dreck drags him down.
as his comedic sidekick.
As his popularity grew, Arnold tried more and more to play normal people.
We wouldnt call anything about this movie normal.
More than 20 years after its release wow, what a wild cultural artifact.
Unfortunately, this potentially clever comedy ended up being the big commercial misfire of Schwarzeneggers megastardom period.
The film isnt fun; its smug and Arnold lacks the light touch he wields inTwinsand elsewhere.
A whole movie that trumpets this fact in a showy way gets tiresome quickly.
Thats funnier than anything inLast Action Hero.
Even if accidental, it was a solid strategy.
Yet Ayer and his star work well together; a reteaming might be good for them both.
Schwarzenegger doesnt flash much of the Arnold charm in these movies, and he doesnt need to.
(They are far too plodding and irony free for any of that.)
He looks like both a barbariananda destroyer.
Schwarzenegger doesnt do a lot of Serious Roles, butMaggieis a happy exception.
10.The Last Stand(2013)
This is the best of Arnolds post-governorship movies.
Its the Arnold aesthetic in full bloom: Hes funny and winking and also ass kicking.
This movie deserved better than the yawn audiences gave it.
Plus, he manages to handle a romantic subplot with Penelope Ann Miller pretty effortlessly.
Youd get shit blowing up in every direction.
Arnold is surrounded by goofiness, but hes the one holding it all together.
If this came on cable right now, you would watch every single second of it.
(It was even sort of thrilling to see Arnold get tossed around.)
But lets be honest: When youre talkingTerminator,youre focused onThe TerminatorandTerminator 2: Judgment Day.
As a result, Schwarzenegger got to play both his best villain and hero roles in the same series.
(No film better captured Arnolds eternal otherness.)
