House of Cards
Save this article to read it later.
Find this story in your accountsSaved for Latersection.
ThisHoCseason has somehow become obsessed with pregnancy.
I am underwhelmed by all of this.
Why make her change her mind about that at the last minute?
Just so she can, what, cut Doug out of a will that she probably destroyed anyway?
Claire is already rich!
She was wealthy when Frank married her.
And Frank hadnt even begun that lucrative post-presidency career of book-writing and speech-giving and whatnot.
Also: The kid has to be novelist Toms, right?
And now, back to the plot!
(For even whenHoCdoesnt care about that, I do.
)HeraldToms house looks like it has been ransacked, and only his whimpering dog remains.
I am EXTREMELY worried about this dog.
Really, she and Frank werent viable.
Again, we knew this already.
Claire then meets with her all-female Cabinet, and I am disappointed that they are all wearing gray.
No pops of color for these women?
Its not like there are men in the room who will take you less seriously because of it.
Its actually weird for everyone else to say its weird.
Janine andHeraldTom are on the run.
I love that journalists on TV shows all wear the same military-green jacket.
(I mean, I have one, too.
A+ for sartorial verisimilitude!)
Theyre getting faxes from Janines ARCAS source.
Im impressed that everyone knows how a fax machine works.
Annette reports that her son is still not taking her calls.
Bills response: Maybe its all for the best!
Real banner night for parents, I see.
Sensual hair-smoothing escalates to intense hair grabbing as Claire tells Jane shes done suffering fools.
Jane, in turn, advises Mark to bail on the whole Claire shitshow.
Meanwhile, Claire is Skyping with Petrov, who is helping her clean house.
He took this literally and told her to disappear; she tookthatliterally and jumped off the Roosevelt Bridge.
Jane, very distraught, calls Mark, who STILL has Tom Yatess body.
Where is he keeping it?
What a waste of closet space!
What does this mean for Doug?
Nothing good, judging by the look on a face I barely recognize in such direct light.
The Shepherds want to bring down both Underwoods.
Doug is also in possession of my new favorite character: Toms dog.
Doug keeps trying to twist this so its all Claires fault.
Sometimes you have the chance to make the right person pay, even if its for the wrong crime.
But you already know the truth.
Mark pops over to remind Claire that he still has Tom Yatess body.
Then Mark calls Jane, who is in what I guess is maybe a Swedish assisted-suicide chamber?
Its all Nordic clean lines and lingering despair.
Claire also wants to say she is not complicit in any of the deranged things Frank may have done.
to his dogs collar and saying, You be a good boy as he gets MURDERED.
I am so worried about this dog!
!Remember howHouse of Cardsbegan with Frank killing that dog in the street?
To this I say,Seriously?
Why cant he be, like, Zoe Barnes secret twin brother or Franks love child?
Wouldnt she have wanted to cover her tracks by legally adopting Duncan from the get-go?
Annie wants Bill to say Duncan is part of the family.
But Bill, a rude blueblood snob, says Duncan is not one of us.
So Annie calls him a coward and says, I hope you die.
Back at the Oval, Doug is growling at Claire.
The Shepherds can be charged with involuntary manslaughter for the deaths at the ARCAS plant.
Claire takes a brief recess to vomit.
In accordance withthe Inviolable Rules of Television Health and Medicine, women who vomit are always pregnant, so.
In other words: the last thing Frank ever gave him.
