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It feels like a miracle, and I pinch myself a lot.
I was going to abandon it, so I was very grateful that I stuck with it and persevered.
I said to myself that as long as Im doing that, its a success.
I dont need HBO although theyre amazing.
I dont need that to feel good about myself and feel good about what Im doing.
Also, huge successes and financial rewards do not inoculate you against depression.
I read Bruce Springsteens autobiography.
Thats the thing I wish I could have told myself when I was a teenager.
I was 20 years in, and I put everything into that special.
Then, the night of the show, it just didnt go that well.
The audience was very lukewarm.
Maybe they had seen the material before; whatever it was, it just didnt go that well.
By the summer of 2015, I was in one of the deepest depressive episodes of my life.
It was very ordinary.
And so that threw off my chemistry, Im sure, and my mood.
It makes sense that they dramatize that in the documentary.
Luckily, within a few days of getting back to my routine, I was healthy again.
So that was important and helpful, and my friendship with Dane was repaired.
They may have been very accommodating and actually appreciated me being open about it.
Also, Id cultivatedmy ownaudience where they knew that, eventually, I was going to be funny.
But its something I had to earn over the years, as well as learn.
Then, I had a really good collaborator in Mike Bonfiglio, the director.
And he said, Thats fine.
Dont worry about it.
So it was a different approach to commit to the parts that didnt have a punchline at the end.
But almost without exception, I was able to bear down and get through it.
But I can honestly say it felt so great.
It was not just a relief, but I was proud of myself.
I was really proud of myself for the first time I can remember.
This interview has been condensed and edited for clarity.
