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In perfect Netflix calibration,Dating Aroundgave thirsty, horny television types some excellent postValentines Day content.
The other two will fade into oblivion.
(But, Mila, call us!
Even though one of us is a gay man and the other is a married straight woman!)
All right, lets get to intellectualizing our horniness and (purely theoretical and in no way malevolent!)
At least for theFandKparts.
The fuckhas got to be Betty, right?
With that said, in terms of pure boning, Betty seems like the clear winner here.
Hair, body, face!
She can teach you how to dance.
Her dress is so short that Im having flashbacks toZulemas dress fromProject Runway!
Regardless, fantastic work from Betty.
She walks headfirst into the door!
I find her boring in the manner of girls who think going to Peloton is a personality.
Shes absolutely gorgeous, and clearly no-nonsense.
We love an independent woman.
But for this reason, alas, I must select her for the kill column.
I cant go with Ashley, who only wanted out of a chemistry-free date.
I cant pick Kate, who wore a great jumpsuit!
Kathryn:Surely the choice of murder for episode two is unanimous?
I felt an incandescent rage hot enough to power the solar system watching this episode.
Thank u, next.
Alex:Lets lighten the mood and move on to fucking.
I extremely want to bone Manny.
He can choke me with his Krav Maga moves anytime.
Kathryn:ALEX YOU STOLE MY PICK (its cool).
My friend Christina says Manny looks like a prince from a cartoon, and she is not wrong.
Alex:And with that I would say that Manny is also my marriage pick.
(We make the rules!)
Yes, Manny, I say yes!
He has his act together.
He can speak high-school French.
He asks for a phone number instead of an Insta handle.
I reserve the right to rescind this choice if it turns out his beverage company is dumb.
I would happily, right now, get married to Brad.Wowthat is an attractive man.
Hell object, because apparently thats his whole deal, but I think hell come around.
Hes confident, sexy, and loaded.
Kathryn:My sex choice here is Cory.
Hes so tall, and theres a sense of enthusiasm about him that seems very promising.
Hes like a Labrador puppy.
Alex:Sorry, what was that?
Cory is so boring!
(I suspectthis is why Lex chose him.)
(Lex, text me!)
Anyway, Im just buying myself time before I decide to go with … Manny?
Kathryn:HEY, NO FAIR!
Wed all bring back Manny if we could, but were stuck with Cory or Jonathan With the Mustache.
Alex:Okay, fine, Im just going to be boring and pick Brad again.
While hes not exactlymy bang out, he seems like an experience.
Kathryn:Theres a persuasive argument for picking Jonathan for the kill.
But I have to go with offing Mic, based entirely on his mid-sternum unbuttoning shirt scheme.
I will not be taking questions at this time.
Alex:Complete co-sign.
(Something Lex does very well on his second-date outfit!)
Also, he extremely does not know how to read the room.
Mic gets the ax for me, too.
Kathryn:Yes, Eileen!
She reminds me of Carol Kane, specifically Carol Kane as Valerie, the witch fromThe Princess Bride.
Alex:As for marriage, I think Leonard made the right pick.
Dianna is wonderful: warm, kind, funny.
She seems like she has made (and would make) a fantastic partner.
Kathryn:Heres my version of bring back Manny!
Can I pick Leonard?
Hes a private eye who loves drugs and was devoted to his wife for years.
Alex:As you did with me, Im going to force you to stick to the rules.
(Although I do love the twinkle in Leonards eye and the fact that hes basically aVeronica Marscharacter.)
Alex:Well, lets get this grisly situation over with.
Unlike episode two, I like everyone in this episode.
I suppose, if forced, Im going to pick Gloria for the sin of texting while conversating.
That said, I dont really mean it.
I think youre great, Gloria!
Just dont text and date!
But just think about the things wed learn after her death.
Celebrate Laurens life, and then have a wild party at her wake.
For me, it has to be Adrian here.
Sarah, he says.
To Sarahs credit, she pushes back on this right away, but it wasnt enough.
Toss him in the trash heap.
While there are many worthy candidates, I think Adrians stoner thing saves him.
Kathryn:Youre right, they are unremittingly dull.
My boning and marriage choices are almost interchangeable, but I have to go with Nick for the boning.
(Nine-minute joke about Greek mythology?!)
He feels like a fun fling, someone to wait out a rainy day playing board games and sexing.
Im unconvinced hed stick around too long after.
So with that Id say that Sarah makes the right choice in picking Matt.
She seems like she wants someone whos in it for the long haul, and Matt has that steadiness.
Kathryn:Matt is probably also the marriage pick for me.
Hes a design technologist; Im a basic person who likes financial security and men who are nice.
Bonus shout-out to Antonio for knowing this date was definitely not for him!
Shes the kind of woman who will look deep into your soul before fucking you long and deep.
Kathryn:Nina is amazing, but so many of the women are amazing!
(Also, yes Mila, all day long.)
But I think my choice for boning has to be Ashley.
I want to steal her whole social group.
Shed be great in bed and wed have fun, but I dont think were love material.
Alex:The entire episode is an exhibition of how queer people are more interesting than straight men.
Kathryn:I might go for Charlotte on the marriage?
Maybe once shes into but now I mostly watch TV territory, it could work between us.
Her forthright vibe is so appealing and effective!
