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Max Bemisjust quit his day job.
Going forward, Bemis strove to make his writing more personal.
2014sHebrewsmused about fatherhood and Bemiss Jewish heritage.
Oliver Appropriatewas inspired by a friend.
It also tripped off a breakdown and a manic episode that made him rethink his priorities.
I am done being a touring musician as my main profession, Bemis wrote.
His comics are not unlike his songs; he turns terrors into powers, illness into strength.
Am I projecting?No.
I think thats always been my motivation for creating art in general.
I personally always had a hard time with it.
I never did that.
I never could be the…Is a Real Boycharacter because Im so awkward and shy.
Anyone who knew me at the time knew I couldnt.
My choice in the end was to move away.
Move to a small town in Texas and be around really sincere people.
Our shows were always really positive places.
And, I was never harangued or harassed by fans or anything.
I never regretted that interaction.
It actually bothers me, especially when its something negative.
Or just a horrible, selfish, egomaniacal person.
Its like painting a picture.
Like an artist painting.
I like to write to examine my anxieties and overcome them.
And to do that, I have to be really honest.
A lot of it was being in a punk band.
Were not living in a world thats conducive to human beings being truly at peace with ourselves.
I always wanted to be like, Im not above it.
Its the most removed from myself.
It was written as a study of my opposite.
But even with that being said, I was able to sing the words and relate to it.
And basically is the dark side of the inverse of me in many ways.
Does songwriting help or hurt when youre processing trauma?
You know, with journalism, we can be done once the copy is filed.
I mean, they came from me.
I love them all to some degree.
Its actually fairly fun to listen to.
So I dont mind that.
Im just at the beginning of my career doing that.
So that people who like Say Anything will go buy it.
But now, I am somewhat seen [chuckles excitedly] as just a comic writer.
Not just a comic writer, but a legitimate comic writer.
The stigma of being attached to these songs doesnt so much bother me.
I basically had another manic episode for the first time in ten years.
And theyre just like, This is driving me crazy.
If its not for you and the lifestyle doesnt match up anymore, it can start to become harmful.
So, for me it was a really vital reason for walking away.
For me it was like, This just sucks.
We would take our kids on the road.
The shows were fantastic, and that was beautiful.
It just doesnt agree with me.
For some people, it feels perfectly cool, and good for them.
If you might do it, praise you.
But I needed a break.
That can be its own hell.Yeah, that is its own hell.
All the cliches of the rock world.
People letting drugs destroy their lives and friendships.
This is stuff for college kids and people in their early 20s.
And a lot of the dudes in the punk scene are clutching to that, I feel.
Its not everyone, but I feel like its cyclical.
I always felt a little weird about it.
I am so much more comfortable at home.
I really am a homebody.
I was, at times, somewhat self-medicating to get through it.
I was at times just numbing myself thought-wise and not really feeling fulfilled and happy.
Then it eventually led to a full breakdown, which, in turn, led to a manic episode.
I just cant do that.
Im kind of lucky that I came out of it as okay as I did.
And Im really proud of what I accomplished artistically with it.
Its cool, but then it was ironic because it showed me how detrimental the whole thing can be.
And it helped me understand the scope of our career in that way.
Just by knowing what things were intrinsically good for me.
Just by exploring the darkness that Ive never really touched upon in my life.
But I guess Ive always been afraid of doing that.
And it also got real bad.
[To] focus on writing, and focus on my family.
Any yet I still really love the album.
And I dont regret the journey.
What inspired you to take that plunge into the depths?
I get that it was an exercise in sort of expunging darkness out of yourself.
When I started writing this new record, there was some of that.
And I started to feel like, Wait, this doesnt exactly feel like me anymore.
Like, Im neurotic, so I fear being a bad person.
But I dont in my heart really believe I am.
But what if I was?
That was the thinking going into it.
So, I was, again, reading a lot about dark things.
And watching a lot of independent horror films.
The whole thing is fascinating to me.
Theres a lot of people who feel fascinated with that.
It doesnt necessarily make you a weirdo.
We live on Earth with people who are alien to us.
Theres something deeply fascinating about the idea of someone performing goodness, while theres something else entirely going on.
Obviously, the character Oliver is a musician.
It was a statement about my generation and the dark side of leftist, liberal culture.
Because I love those things.
Im just a typical guy whos obsessed with equal rights.
And yet I can look around at a lot of the things Ive seen come into play.
When youre in a band, you really get to see some of what people worship.
The truth behind what people worship.
They do things that are hurtful or act meanly.
I dropped out of college to do this.
So I wasnt even, like, a full human being.
I didnt know anything about the world.
And its a duality that to me is a really interesting.
And I felt like, especially in the context of emo, which sadly …
I was there to see that transformation, and it was always really depressing for me.
So I wanted to write about someone who is the embodiment of that.
Theres a lot of people that I know, that are kind of mish-moshed into this character.
If you go younger than us, its just getting better and better.
I really do believe in the future, and that were just evolving as a species.
So I think its just dying out.
Theres a reason that 90 percent of the bands of our generation broke up.
And they may be getting back together for reunion shows and stuff, but it died off.
Because people smelled it.
You know what I mean?
I was like, I just want to show that were not …that.
We wanted to do something that we felt had integrity.
So we kept doing it.
I think I did my best to give a shot to separate myself from some of those …
I mean theres still things that I have in common with a lot of those bands.
Not all of them embody what Im talking about.
Theres some great ones, and great people.
But I remember playing festivals where I would hear some of the stuff that people would say backstage.
I would be so grossed out.
I was having a breakdown.
And it just hit me.
Oh my God, this is still going on.
You know what I mean?
The bar scene, the after parties.
Everyone is getting older, and its just getting sadder.
And Im like, This is not me.
I like to sit at home with my family.
Im kind of … known for it?
You are the guy who wrote Admit It.Exactly.
We never fit in perfectly.
There are things that I say about Oliver on the record that I still feel.
And sometimes they just make you a normal person suffering.
I hope people can relate to Olivers struggles.
There are lines on there that really do speak to stuff Ive been through.
The whole joke of the record is that he is so close to being me.
I dont want to become … dark.
I dont want to hurt all other people because Im hurting.
A lot of mean people are made into mean people because other people were mean to them.
I appreciate that the record talks about sexuality in a sensitive fashion.
Well, I dont know if sensitive is the right phrasing.
Im not the stereotypical queer person.
So I wanted to be like, Yeah.
And is happily married, and obsessed with his wife.
And still acknowledge yourself as being not completely just straight.
I believe that more people have elements of pansexuality to them than are willing to admit.
Its such a spectrum.
I feel like its way too black and white right now, the way people see [sexuality].
Or like, No, hes not!
I would much rather be like, Sorry, I am.
I didnt feel like I even needed to say anything about it.
It wasnt like I felt like I was hiding anything.
I thought I was kind of obvious.
Why not err on that side of honesty and oversharing?
Obviously thats kind of my whole thing.
Its the humanism of the band.
We were celebrating by addressing the most awkward, kind of shameful, embarrassing things together.
And saying, Oh, were all freaks together.
And It helped certain people feel better.
It helped me feel better.
It helped some other people in my band feel better.
And thats a positive thing to do in the world.
You know what I mean?
I hope that were remembered for that.
The quality of the music, or how successful we were, thats completely subjective.
What isnt subjective is that someone once brought the album home, and it made them feel better.
So thats how I remember it.
So there was always something positive in the center of it.
I hope its remembered for that.
This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.
