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Light spoilers ahead forAvengers: Endgame.
Theresso much movie inAvengers: Endgamethat its hard to break down the three-hour epic into individual, digestible parts.
Theres theHot Tub Time Machinereference.
Theres the ongoingCaptain Americahasthebestass joke.
(There is, also, the whole plot and stuff, too, I suppose.)
But there exists one part ofEndgamethat I absolutely cannot stop thinking about.
On a loop, this sequence has danced in my head.
Its swallowed up basically every other thought I have.
Drink does not satisfy me;food turns to ash in my mouth.
I absolutely must get to the bottom of this truly incredible sequence.
What is the scene that has me so obsessed?Endgames three-act end credits.
The wheeling and dealing of star billing haslong fascinated Vulture, especially when it comes tothe Marvel machine.
(It has also fascinated me, ever since thatone joke Ben Affleck made inShakespeare in Love.)
What Marvel pulls off withEndgame, though, is unparalleled: one movie with 54 stars?
Nine stars are grouped into trios to share cards, which I will call Act II.
Would you like to join my mania?
Perfect, lets start at the beginning.
You think the utter chaos of these 32 names are your ally?
You merely adopted the utter chaos of these 32 names.
I was born in it, molded by it!
I love Kyle, and I miss him a lot.
Here is what Kyle had to say about this list of 32 names: UTTERLY random.
But, I countered.
Don CheadleBenedict CumberbatchChadwick BosemanTom Holland is the same order as theirInfinity Warbilling.
Instead he said: But why do Paul and Brie go where they go.
And so I cried some more and descended into a deeper level of mania.
Starting with Paul and Brie, who have stuff to do inEndgame, which helps their credits case.
Also, Natalie Portman ought to have won an Oscar forJackie.)
But I wouldve also guessed that Leighton Meester wouldve appeared second or third.
Maximiliano Hernandez/Frank Grillo/Hiroyuki Sanada:Agent Jasper Sitwell, Crossbones, and the Yakuza boss Hawkeye fights in Tokyo.
Tom Vaughan-Lawlor/James DArcy/Jacob Batalon:Thanoss friend, Tony Starks butler, Peter Parkers bestie.
ACT III: The biggies
Featuring Vin Diesel as GrootandBradley Cooper as Rocket.This is the same as theirInfinity Warbilling.
Vin Diesel has theGuardiansfranchise, theFastfranchise, andThe Chronicles of Riddick!
With Josh Brolin as ThanosJosh Brolin diestwiceinEndgame.
The same number of times people used the F-word inThe Social connection!
Naturally the six Marvel OGs whove always gotten the sweetest billing spots appear last.
This is when the credits game really goes for broke.
(However, I invite James Camrons dozenAvatarsequels to try and outspend Marvel here.)
After Renner, Scarlett Johansson continues her legacy of being billed fifth for anAvengersfilm.
(She has other credits to look forward to, when she returns for aBlack Widowprequel.)
And Mark Ruffalo again scores third billing.
Does this mean Thor is destined to show up in a subsequentGuardiansfilm?
So at the tippity top of the Marvel empire remains Robert Downey Jr., RIP, billed last.
Beyoncestunningly remains unbilled for single-handedly powering humanity.
Vulture regrets the error.
