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If only we could all have a show-business friend like Artie.
Arties smile the same overwhelmingly broad smile Torn would deploy throughout his storied career was certainly insincere.
Rarely is that more clear than in how Artie relates to Janeane Garofalos character, Paula.
It doesnt go well.
Paula is young, and though its never directly stated, a woman in a misogynist work environment.
No one takes her seriously when Artie asks her to produce the show while hes away.
Torn was an actor who could level hellfire onto a scene if it called for it.
Its the classic shark inJaws scenario, with the character gaining more power by not being seen.
Inevitably, Paula, a teetotaler, finishes an entire bottle of the stuff due to stress.
Like the real-life Rip Torn, Artie was amasterful consumer of alcohol.
By season fours episodeI Was a Teenage Lesbian,Artie is still dispensing fairly awful advice.
This time, Paula has found a lump in her breast and is nervous shes got cancer.
For Artie, regular human emotions like empathy can only get in the way of comedy.
You cant be good at your job if you spend all day worrying about someone elses well-being.
You have to focus on making love to the entire state of Nebraska through the camera.
Arties job was almost the opposite of the therapist.
It was to double-check you didnt feel anything except joy at being lucky enough to work in television.
He will flatter you, yell at underlings on your behalf, and never once ask you for anything.
Hes like an agent, but less predatory.
In fact, my ass looks amazing, as it always does.
Ill know the truth, but so did Artie.
That didnt stop him, and it wont stop me.
