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For the longest time, late-night televisionwasthe monoculture.
But that TV landscape is dead.
Nothing is going to appeal to everyone ever again, if it ever did.
Because of the internet, the dissenters will always be visible.
Now, the best jokes are ones that particularly zing with the host.
The internet audience can smell fear, can take screenshots of every dead-eyed moment of pandering.
Better for a good joke to be for no one than a passable joke be for everyone.
This week was chock-full of jokes for no one.
Lets look at the best.
Whoopi Goldberg Just Wants to Talk About her Book, Dammit!
Whoopi Goldberg gives no fucks.
And shes not going to keep the Trump ball in the air for him, so stop asking.
Whoopi expressed something most of us feel: complete and total news exhaustion.
None of the will-they-wont-they-impeach stuff is actually working for us, so why talk about it anymore?
Trump comedy is dead.
Negging hosts to their face is the new hotness.
It takes a real brainfucker to say this without laughing: Roses are red, violets are blue.
One time I got my penis stuck in a pool filter.
The paramedics didnt show up for three months.
It was the best summer ever.
Okay, he laughed a little, but he regained composure quickly.
Justin Hartley said bab instead of dab.
3.ConanDoes Joke Lists Right
Im very wary of joke lists.
A long list of funny things is often a symptom of a lazy writers room.
This fake streaming service fromConanis super-fun.
I would honestly pay for a streaming service that curates the best of Russian dashboard-cam videos.
Spivey and Meyers recalled a punch-up sesh when they tried their darndest to make it work.
Come for the behind-the-scenes talk, stay for the falsetto.
Jameela Jamil Hooped a Slim Jim
Okay, some jokes are still universal.
A pretty lady saying butt plug on live national television will always work.
God bless the director who stayed on Questlove for the reaction shots.