The Great British Baking Show
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Wow, wow, wow.
Most of the episodes from this season ofThe Great British Baking Showhave been wonderful to watch.
Theres been dropped tarts, crying, and a lot of confusion along the way.
Theres bread-making, theres deep-frying, theres cake-grilling, there are pasta machines and intricate designs.
And as with all truly great episodes of reality TV: Theres a surprise ending.
The premise of this weeks episode is to highlight dishes that appear at festivals and celebrations around the world.
that are identical and beautifully decorated.
Michael smiles blankly and assures Paul that itll all be fine.
Its simple, yes, but overcomplicating things doesnt get you Star Baker.
Or rather, super fazed.
In her confusion, she decides that what these buns really need is a lemon curd glaze.
Prue looks on wearily and Pauls says that sounds interesting, which in this context means super weird.
Henry, Rosie, and David go for festival buns inspired by faraway places.
For Henry, that place is Sweden and their beloved kardemummabullar, which simply means cardamom bun.
Henrys will feature chocolate, almonds, and chocolate creme pate, cardamom glaze, and pearl sugar.
Simple, but oh so delicious sounding.
A sound decision in Week Seven.
Judging begins and Prue and Paul call up David.
As usual, his bake so neat as to be borderline OCD.
Over at Michaels station, Paul immediately notices that his buns are uneven and misshapen.
TOO MUCH FREAKIN FRUIT.
Prue finds them to be a little tough.
The other bakers clap half-heartedly.
Alice, the final hot cross bun-ner, gets pretty much the exact opposite commentary.
Great praise if youre an amateur baker, but a devastating barb on this show.
Alice blinks in shock.
He and Prue love the flavors even if the buns are a bit dense at the bottom.
Prue compares them to donuts, the ultimate compliment.
He offers Henry a Hollywood Handshake and Henry says, Shut up!
He officially graduates from Sophisticated Toddler to Sophisticated Child.
But then comes the Technical chaos incarnate.
Prue shivers in ecstasy.
In the tent, the bakers get to work.
But that doesnt save Michael or Alice from failing to crimp their cassatelles well.
All the bakers get about 30 more seconds to finish their bakes timers and rules be damned.
Paul and Prue return to the tent and arent immediately horrified with the desserts set before them.
Alice lands in sixth place for not properly sealing her cassatelles, which are also under-filled and over-fried.
Michael barely beats her with his under-filled and soggy bakes.
Then, for the FIFTH time, David comes in second.
I repel first, he says, and Rosie wins the Technical Challenge for the first time.
Shes okay with it!
Sandi, Noel, and the judges gather to discuss whos first and whos worst.
Rosie is on the up-and-up, but theyre not quite ready to declare her a threat.
(Its always the quiet ones, yall.)
This will require the bakers to use food colorings, knives (watch out, Michael!
), and broilers to grill each thin cake layer.
This is, as Paul and Prue point out, one of the most difficult challenges in show history.
Somewhere, Helenas familiar cackles.
With their cakes baked, the bakers get to work disassembling and reassembling their layers into intricate patterns.
He also laments the fact that his bake will now be small after he burned those layers.
Michael soaks every third sponge with rum in a blatant attempt to win Prues approval.
Somehow, theyre all able to finish this challenge on time.
(Sorry Priya, but you could never.)
And then its judging time.
But theyre blown away by the flavors and especially the nectarine jam, which Paul cant get enough of.
Prue says the rum soak was a bad idea (ouch!)
and they both find the cake stodgy.
Michael heads back to his station and assures the other bakers hes fine.
Henry quips that this is the look he was going for and in doing so graduates to Sophisticated Teenager.
The judges love the texture and flavor of the cake and applaud Henry for his nearly flawless execution.
Finally, Alice presents her cake and lo and behold: Its even neater than Davids.
And it tastes good.
Like, really, really good.
Its, dare we say, faultless.
Michaels last-ditch hope that Alice would fuck up trickles down the drain.
And as Helenas Technical win and elimination in the same week taught us, no one is safe onGBBS.
Apparently thats all it takes, because Henry is crowned Star Baker in a stunning upset.
With his chin held high, he steps into Sophisticated Adulthood.
And he had areally, reallybad week.
His banter was also top-notch.
But banter doesnt make good pastry, the theme of next weeks five-person quarterfinals.
Lets hope these five know their pate a choux from their pate brisee.
