The Real Housewives of Atlanta
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Can you imagine being Shamaris two regular friends when this entire party went promptly to hell?
Just come to the party.
NeNes always got some good food and youll be on TV.
Would you also pack an extra outfit for me?
But this isnt about Shamari.
Even though she laid waste to the party in her own way.
This is about NeNe.Oh, NeNe.
She should have taken this year off.
Everything in her life is just letting her down.
In addition to being bad at asking for help, shes even worse at accepting it.
NeNe wants to lecture her friends about how she needs help and then do no other steps.
The episode starts with Kandi auditioning dancers for her Welcome to the Dungeon show.
When is this thing opening?
I would like an entire episode devoted to the tech rehearsal of Welcome to the Dungeon.
There are over 65 people waiting to audition, and that doesnt sound like a big number.
After they see all 65 people, DonJuan brings in one extra dancer: Cynthia.
Cynthia has arrived in lingerie and shes brought her own whip.
She wants to represent the over-50 crowd by awkwardly dancing and letting Kandi touch her booty.
There is a simmering homoeroticism between the women thats always under the surface.
Im both confused and thrilled by it.
Who is helping NeNe come up with these themes?
To gain attendance to this party, you must show up with your natural hair.
NeNe sits down with Yovanna at Swagg Boutique.
NeNe is really trying to make us like her friends.
I dont want to be friends with your friends.
I have never been excited to meet a woman that visitsmy friends job.Thats who Yovanna is.
Shes our modern-day Betty Draper.
So shes $50,000 over budget.
Tell your third cousins to stay home.
Marlo and Porsha arrive late because they had to get their ends bumped.
If youve never had your ends bumped, this party is not for you and you are a visitor.
After an evaluation and a track check, its time to sit down for the meal.
Did anyone notice that Shamaris two regular-ass friends didnt sit at the table?
Porsha arrives and she begins posing her hand very conspicuously to show off her new ring.
NeNe is able to button every criticism of another person by going My husband is in the hospital.
Dont tell Marlo that.
Gregg was texting her and asking her to come helpyou.
I fully acknowledge that I am a monster, but there has to be room for Marlos feelings.
I would like to hang an oil painting of this moment over my bed.
You dont get that kind of emotional drama out of a friend of the show.
While NeNe and Marlo head upstairs to collect themselves, Shamari takes over.
Shamari slips away while everyone is chatting about if NeNe is going to come back downstairs.
We all know that slip away.
I threw a party in college and a guy quietly went to the bathroom.
This move will be called a Shamari from now on.
The ladies run to help her and she repays them with vomiting on Evas shoes.
Eva heads upstairs to get an outfit from NeNe to wear home.
I guess she should have brought a drunk outfit like Shamari.
Kandi and Porsha head upstairs to say goodnight to NeNe and thats when it all goes sideways.
How is this the part when it goes sideways?
Kandi decides to take advantage of the moment to see into NeNes closet.
Porsha and Kandi go into NeNes closet and this sets NeNe OFF.
NeNe jumps up and starts screaming I WILL FUCK YOU UP as she rips his shirt off him.
She starts to throw every single camera man around.
Porsha whimpers Take my mic off.
I dont wanna be here no more.
Im scared which is the line of the episode.
To be continued … ?
