The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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Its going to go up your butt, Audriana complains, understandably confused about the physics of thongs.
It is hard to believe we were all so young once.
(Yikes, Jennifer.)
Later, as Jennifer leaves for Cabo, she will scream, Youre not leaving this family!
As for the mother, though: Ill kill her.
That bitch knew he was married.
Who is that whore?
Teresas freshly spray-tanned skin is at terror alert level orange.
Backstage, Frankie respectfully massages additional color onto his ex-wifes childhood friends butt and inner thighs.
Let the wild rumpusempieza.When they arrive in Mexico, Teresa takes one for the team and rooms with Danielle.
(As a pre-trip precaution, Margaret asked her housekeeper Marleny how to say bitch in Spanish.
Beach?Playa, Marleny answered helpfully.)
After a round of shots at dinner, the women give Teresa her necklace.
And you know what?
she add, Its fucking ugly.
I mean, yes, it is fucking ugly indeed, but this is rude.
Shades ofOklahoma Jen, or as Dolores suggests, tequila-induced amnesia.
Baby, I am on point like nobodys business, Jennifer informs Margaret, for some reason.
Sos your fucking lip liner.
Why dont you fix it?
Jennifer bitchily blows her kisses; Margaret says her mouth looks like a monkeys asshole.
Jennifer claps her hands wildly: Yeah!
A monkeys asshole that you fucking sucked, probably!
How lucky we are to be alive right now.
Danielle, an extremely improbable voice of reason, invites Jennifer to go for a cool-off walk.
This monkeys assholes got to be refreshed, Jennifer yell-announces to the restaurant.
I think Ive got it: Drunk Jen is basically Olivia with a filthier vocabulary.
