The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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What can I say?
Its catchy, and my mortal flesh is weak!
Jennifer has brought souvenirs from Turkey.
But Margarets present got lost in the mail, she explains, along with themail-order bridethat never arrived.
Hey, thats funny!
Honestly, this fucking rules.
Jennifer is bringingtheaterthis week.
The drinking hasnt even begun, to be clear, but the shouting has commenced in earnest.
Housewives dont swirl wine, maam.
Oaky whites keep on coming; the women keep on putting them away.
One woman in particular.
Sucking my dick, she begins to … rap, without provocation?
Was that a song?
I dont know, but I loved it.
It was a joke, Jen protests.
Just like the mail-order bride thing was a joke!
As retribution, Margaret brings up how Jennifer said her husband sometimes sleeps in their pool house.
I like when she drinks, says Teresa.
I like when I drink too, chirps Drunk Jen.
Me three, for the record.
Sober Jennifer is reality-TV Salieri.
Drunk Jen is Mozart.
Lets check in with her and Marty, thehappiest couple on the face of this planet.
Married life is unbelievable, Marty says.
Cut to each newlywed in turn, staring unhappily into space and blinking the Morse code for help me.
Danielle informs Teresa that Margaret repeatedly advised her to trust neither Tre nor Melissa.
Mrs. Cafferty nee Staub snitching to Teresa?This sure sounds familiar, especially if youre Dolores!
Who should grace Milanias listening party with his presence but Fetty Wap himself?
Speaking of: Melissa wants Danielle and Margaret to flush the air before Mexico.
Joe B. and Joe G. do a half-hearted speed-through of a two-man I-want-to-fight-him, hes-not-worth-it routine.
Jennifer characterizes Margaret as a mean girl and Teresa says Margarets been treating Danielle really harsh.
