The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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Or 85 percent.)
And a long-distance relationship is out of the question.
Andy asks if shes been faithful; Teresa says she has.
(Do I hear asenior cat dry-heavingsomewhere out there on the wind?)
(I hope Tre threw it in the dishwasher after that.
I shudder at the thought of labia algae.)
We touch again on Bill and Jennifers no-sex courtship.
What if you go down there and it just looks at you funny?
Joe Gorga asks, of a hypothetical wifes hypothetical vagina.
I would pay $500 to watch this man draw a diagram of the female anatomy on the spot.
Then, for the first time inHousewiveshistory, Andy asks the husbands what their own taglines would be.
Bill:A nip/tuck a day allows my wife [to?]
Not a bad start, though I think were missing a preposition.
B-
Jackies husband(Evan!
His name is Evan!
): I have four kids, two degrees, and one kick-ass wife.
A cute homage to his spouses actual tagline, albeit a bit of a can-I-copy-your-homework-yeah-just-change-it-around-a-little copout.
Like Frank himself, vulgar perfection.
Exactly what I look for in an Angies List profile.
See me after class.
(Exactly how big does their house have to be to make that work?)
And her wedding dress only cost $35,000, thank you very much, not $45,000.Thatwould be unreasonable.
Id love to watch him meet a head of state.
And yet the path to reconciliation for Margaret and Danielle is far too littered withBride Squad swimsuitsto be navigable.
Teresa, as always, refuses to acknowledge any of Danielles misbehavior toward her castmates.
If someones nice to you, how can you be mean to them?
This is one of severalcomplex psychological conceptsTeresa is currently grappling with, up there with object permanence.
Did you say video on PornHub?
Dolores nods at her meaningfully; Jennifers eyes widen bigger than I have ever seen them.
you could change your name, but youre still that Beverly inside.
It was a shallow pool.
He could have gotten hurt, Danielle says.
I do have a nine-foot deep end, but Jennifer interjects.
Danielle presents Teresa with a Tiffany-blue box.
Inside is a necklace engraved D+T, both of their initials Danielle is wearing a matching pendant.
To use the word cringey would be an understatement.
I feel like Im watching footage of Kim Jong-uns birthday party.
