Vanderpump Rules

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Also, just because shes getting older doesnt mean that she should settle for a lemon.

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She deserves to find one of those.

Just look at Stassi.

It should be more, Where are you from?

What do your parents do?

and less like a home visits episode ofThe Bachelorette.

Lets take a bit of time to work up to complete emotional honesty, shall we?

Is she a psychologist?

Does she have a masters degree in social work?

Is she even a registered life coach?

We have no idea.

It seems like she might just be a busybody who loves to talk to other people about their relationships.

(Dr. Ruth and I do share a certain resemblance, though.)

This doesnt stop Isa from holding a relationship-coaching event at Kristen and Carters apartment.

If one is aware of that, then they can avoid fights and conflict.

Not to knock Isa or anything, but that isnt the deepest advice.

Carter comes in and sits down next to them and starts talking condescendingly about their relationships.

This is the dumbest thing that any human has ever done.

Even if he was right, this was not a fight that Cater was ever going to win.

Their indignation is a force of nature, and he is not the warlock who could possibly harness it.

To make it even worse, Carter doesnt seem to have much of an argument.

Well, it really is a chicken or the egg kind of thing.

Then Carter is mean to her about that.

Its going to be crazy next week when they make up.

There are several other relationships going through ups and downs this week, too.

Then they slept together and the next day he got her a car.

Stassis response is an instant classic: Is your vagina made of sparkles?

Does daddy wanna play with Lalas asshole, she coos to Stassi, showing off her seduction tactics.

Does daddy want Lala to play withyourasshole?

She gets to decide if she wants to have the kids or adopt.

She gets to decide if she even wants to be there.

So, yeah, good on Tom.

After the party at Kristens, the Toms and Katie and Ariana all went back to the Schwartz homestead.

Sandoval walked to the elevator and pushed the button.

No, Schwartz said.

Lets take the stairs.

He opened the battered grey door and the motion-sensor light flickered on with fluorescent intensity.

What the fuck, man?

Schwartz undid Sandovals belt and yanked down his pants so that Sandovals ass was hanging out.

Schwartz then rubbed his groin against Sandoval, who relented a little and started writhing against his best friend.

Im gonna do it, Schwartz said.

Its gonna be mine.

Sandoval said, horny but confused.

Im gonna put a baby in you, he said, and Sandoval turned to show his smile.

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