Vanderpump Rules
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I appreciate any episode of this show that includes multiple mentions of Tom Schwartzs penis.
Sadly, most of those mentions are not especially flattering this week.
His wife Katie once again draws attention to just how limp it is.
However, she also wants him to put it on display (for the cameras maybe?)
and he blushes away from it, probably because its first thing in the morning and hes mostly sober.
What is a classic penis though?
Does that mean its really old?
Does that mean that it is like all the other penises?
Romance, Tom answers simply, and its the most accurate and amazing thing hes ever said.
Thatiswhat romance often looks like, doing something silly for your lover that only he or she will appreciate.
All we need is someone to orchestrate these gestures, and Tom did a great job.
Then he tells Katie the words she wants to hear: I love you.
I have been neglecting you.
That is the real gift to Katie here: Tom validating all of her feelings.
Thats like a whole truck stops worth of meth hitting her blood stream all at once.
That is all she really wants.
That role this trip was played by Mx.
Its an odd performance.
In a confessional later, Stassi says that her performance seemed over the top and dramatic.
If she thinks that Lala is being too much, than she is so much more than that.
The great times you have there always stay with you.
At first I thought this party was because their dog Graham was about to have puppies.
Then I realized Graham is a boy and its a party to welcome him to our family.
Jax flat out tells her no, because life has been calm without James around.
She shouldnt take a stab at be friends with her boyfriends enemies.
Her being with her boyfriend should be her goal.
She shouldnt be trying to impress people that hate him.
Did you explain that theres going to be fun and games and stuff too?
he pleads with her.
Yes, she did.
She asks Lisa if James can DJ her brunch again and Lisa says no.
Billie then starts to yell at her boss and stalks away from her.
What is wrong with Billie?
When did she turn into aKoopa Troopajust lumbering back and forth screaming at people?
Maybe she should volunteer to give out free samples of beer cheese at the shindig.
At least then she can expand her camera time.
You still have the money to pay Lisa, right?
Sandoval asked, swiveling toward Schwartz with his legs spread wide.
Thats going to cost you.
You know what I want.
Give it to daddy.
As soon as he was settled Sandoval hit him with the cupped palm of his hand.
