Vanderpump Rules
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The aftermath of the party is grim.
But why are we only hearing about this?
Why arent we seeing this entire fight?
Why werent the cameras there?
We can miss the rest of this outburst.
Fire that person now.
Hes super sweet and says hes not going anywhere, but hes scared that she always has these outbursts.
They both seem to wonder what these outbursts have in common.
Let me think about that for a second.
Is that when she erupts like an eighth-grade science project volcano?
Is it when shes drunk?
Can that explain it?
Stassi has another flare-up at the end of the episode when dealing with her mother.
First her mother acts totally inappropriately toward Beau at Kristens relaunch of her T-shirt brand.
Wait, we have to unpack that first.
(They dont actually say those things.
I made those up.
But remember, this is arelaunch.
She already asked the world once if it wanted this T-shirt line and it said, Nah.
I have a feeling the answer this time is going to be resoundingly the same.
Stassis mom Dayna was totally pinching Beaus ass at Stassis birthday party and that is not cool at all.
That is just a universally accepted no-no.
Yes, thats right.
SheKelly Bensimon-edher own daughter.
I dont really understand how it happened.
(Its one of Kristens T-shirts.)
The saddest magic trick of all is that we all inevitably transform into our parents.
All exactly the same.
Speaking of DJ James Kennedy, he has two great meetings this week.
The first is with his friend Arthur, the former manager of Pump who is now a life coach.
When I heard this, I was not optimistic.
Okay, I kind of like this Arthur.
Give this guy a show making over the sad lives of reality stars.
His second big meeting is with Lala, who arrives in her mans Rolls Royce.
James asks why she wanted to meet and she just lays it all out on the line.
James whines that its the alcohol that makes him do it, but hes always saying that.
Yes, he says hes given up drinking, but what is he doing otherwise?
He is Robbys best friend and roommate.
But now Scheana is on a date with the best friend of the dude shes trying to sleep with?
Does she realize this is a bad plan?
Does she realize that both of these dudes are just using her to get on TV?
Shes aware of that, right?
That leaves us with Tom Schwartz and Sandoval.
Also, Pandora has taken over the Tom Tom cocktail menu, so what are these two even doing?
Theyre just like glorified mascots?
Theyre like the Chuck E. Cheese animatronic band but actual humans?
I dont know, Id be pretty pissed if I was them.
Sure, Lisa is going to let them make some cocktails for a DailyMailTV party, but thats it.
They should be angry.
They should be so very angry that they howl and rage and bump their chests up against each other.
Thats what they should do, right?
