Veep
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Tom James will screw you and then he will screw you.
Thats his signature move!
Naturally this is no good because America is still a democracy-ish.
(Kent: -esque.)
Lets back up: Selina wins the New Hampshire primary.
Balloons fail to fall because that was Amys job.
But other than that, all is going better than ever for the Meyer campaign.
Her new shtick, which is the oldest shtick in the books misogyny is connecting with every quadrant.
Selina gets it: Its universal: Men hate women, women hate themselves.
Ben reminds her that she is running against an actual black person this time around.
I lost it over JLDs fake-cheery delivery of Progress!
while doing the saddest little raise-the-roof gesture.
Anyway, clearly its not worth it to Lion King Little Richard all over this church.
They need a dog whistle, not a dog whisperer (charter schools?
Step up, Dan!)
or a dog chainsaw.
Mike, who isprettysure his wife his Korean, says trusting the Chinese is a bad idea.
She wont commit, but she still has sex with him because of course she does.
Things are getting DESPERATE.
Selina will not cede South Carolina to Kemi.
You want to blow a dog whistle in a black church?
Thats like blowing a rape whistle while youre raping someone.
Of the South China Sea!
Thats right, she went there.
On the bright side, Selina wins South Carolina and the balloons actually fall this time!
To reward Dan for this stunning achievement, Selina has sex with him (!)
and then, like,immediatelyfires him (!!).
Amid all this, its time for some campaign shake-ups!
After 18 years on the job, Gary is ready for more responsibility.
Naturally Marjorie lasts all of three days before Gary gets his job back.
(Marjorie screws up on purpose because Catherine wanted her to.
Jonah, alas, cant even get that part right.
(He tells Selina he wants Department of the Exterior.
Amy corrects him: Interior.
Amy, were going to negotiate against ourselves now?)
MATH TEACHERS ARE TERRORISTS, he shouts at a rally.
He starts a chant of NO MORE MATH and reams out his whole campaign staff.
Everyone bails except Amy, who has what honestly looks like a dark religious awakening.
Remember a few episodes back when she said shed want to be president so she could nuke America?
Looks like she figured out the next best (worst?)
As usual, the only person whos doing really well is Richard, hero of Lurlene.
So proud of you for saving all those people when that cropduster crashed into a 7-Eleven!
Good to know FEMA is sending in emergency rations of cigarettes.
Gary knows the code: Full bald eagle.
Marjorie learned to make tea from an Afghan warlord.
Jonahs mom is remarrying his stepdad-in-law!
Insult of the Episode
Veeps collective (and correct) knock on CNN.
Jonah Shall Henceforth Be Known As
A human pool-skimmer last used to despunk a Provincetown hot-tub party.
Great to see you too, Uncle Jeff.
