An excerpt from Shea SerranosMovies (And Other Things).
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And so I get that.
And I understand that.
But still: It is not my favorite Diane Keaton performance.
Because my favorite Diane Keaton performance is the show she put on in 2003sSomethings Gotta Give.
He starts seeing a 29-year-old woman named Marin Klein (played by Amanda Peet).
She takes him to her mothers house in the Hamptons for a weekend getaway.
And thats where things get thorny.
And its all so perfect.
As she often is.
18QuestionsaboutDianeKeaton,NoneofWhichAreAboutSomethingsGottaGive
What is it that makes Diane Keaton such a special actress?
Is it because of the turtlenecks?
Is it her bangs?
Its her bangs, right?
Is it because of the way she tells you that her hair is a wig?
Is it because she stared down the mob?Is it because of the way she kisses a frog?
Is it a combination of some of those things?
Is it a combination of all of those things?Will there ever be another Diane Keaton?
Does Diane Keaton make the right decision inSomethings Gotta Give?
Things we know about Dr. Keanu:
Hes handsome.Keanu has always had such a great face.
Hes tall.A steady six-foot-one.
(For comparison, Keaton is five-foot-seven.)
Hes a doctor.He works in the ER.
Were I to guess, Id say that puts his salary somewhere around $300,000.
Hes young.Hes 36, compared to Nicholsons Harry, who is 63.
(Keatons Erica is 56.)
Hes considerate.He seems to always say a nice thing or do a nice thing, no matter the circumstances.
Hes advanced.Theres a part where he reads her latest play right after shes finished it.
Nicholson is handsome inSomethings Gotta Give, yes, but hes handsome for an old man.
Hes taller than Keaton, but shorter than Dr. Keanu.Five-foot-ten.
Hes (likely) bad at kung fu.He was in zero ofThe Matrixmovies.
His heart is bad.Its like a jar full of mayonnaise and cigar smoke.
Hes old (but only in relation to Dr. Keanu, not in relation to Keaton).Hes 63.
Hes inconsiderate.For most of the movie, anyway.
(The single best example is when Keaton meets Nicholson for the first time.
He says hes not robbing her, that hes there because hes dating her daughter.
Right then, Peet walks in wearing a bikini and confirms it.
Keaton says, Youre dating my daughter?!
To which Nicholson responds, Now who wouldve thought that would be worse news?)
Hes not advanced.For most of the movie, anyway.
Its the whole point of him dating young women.
It might be her most treasured thing.
Nicholson checks that box off for her.
Dr. Keanu does not.
Third, the age difference is just too big.
Keaton made the right decision.She mostly always does.
Is it the scene when she first meets Nicholson?
Is it the scene when she, her sister and her daughter have dinner with Nicholson?
Is it the scene when she doesnt notice any of Dr. Keanus advances in the hospital?
Is it the scene when she chats with Nicholson on Instant Messenger?
Is it when she walks on the beach with Nicholson and shes wearing that hat?
Is it when she stops making out with Nicholson to take his blood pressure before sex?
Is it when she hears Nicholson ask to sleep in the bed with her?
Is it after they first break up and she cries and cries and cries?
Is it when she sees Nicholson in New York and runs out of the restaurant?
Is it when Nicholson approaches her as shes getting her new play ready?
Is it when Nicholson surprises her at the restaurant in Paris?
Is it when she puts on Nicholsons glasses and he puts on hers?
I dont figure its any of those.
I figure its the scene when she has to give Nicholson CPR.
Then she hears her daughter calling for her.
Keaton gets down on her knees, and her sister asks her what shes doing.
